Perseverance
Sometimes during the formation years of entering the Franciscan Order you will go through times of trial. They may cause you to doubt your vocation. You are bound to experience some dissatisfaction – especially after the “honeymoon” period is over. This is when you must exercise virtue of perseverance. There are a few important things to keep in mind.
If you value and believe in your vocation, don't discard it just because you are not happy with immediate circumstance. Your vocation is bigger than the present situation. If you don't like the way things are, remember, you will not always be in formation. The time of formation is a unique period with it’s own particular challenges, but it will not last forever. You will not always live in the formation friary.
Perhaps you are struggling with a certain person in the community. Remember, you will not always live with those who you may not get along with. Not all friaries are the same. Each differs according to the combination of personalities, and the different ministries that are carried out there. In the mean time, thank God for these difficult people. They are the ones God uses to call you to greater holiness.
Communicate - especially to your Postuancy Director. Let him know your struggles. Often just talking about your struggles with some one who listens well is half the battle. In speaking to someone and hearing it “replayed” back to you in different words and in a different voice can help objectify the problem. It can allow you to see beyond your own subjective blind spots. Seek support from the friars you bond with. But also try to connect with those you don't naturally connect with - those who may not have the same vision of religious Life as you do.
Never make an important decision that affects your vocation on your own. God speaks primarily through others. Most often God speaks through an alternating process of vigilant prayer and counsel from others. You share with your Director of Postulancy or the Novitiate or of Temporary Profession what you learn from prayer. And then you take back to prayer what you have heard from your director.
One of the greatest skills in persevering is to be able to hold in tension your ideal while living in reality. Keep your eye on the ultimate goal, but adjust to the way things really are. Nothing will ever be perfect because much of what you think is “perfect” are your own subject ideas. Everybody has his own idea of what “perfect” is.
Keep your ideal alive but be open and flexible to adjusting it if some parts are not realistic. Come to learn what in your ideal is essential and what is not. Be open to learning perhaps especially from those with whom you may not get along.
Finally, a precious line in the “Peace Prayer” or the “Prayer of St. Francis” is: O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek… to be understood as to understand. Seek more to understand your own sins and try not to focus on the shortcomings of other friars.
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